Solitude

I'm sitting on the patio of my deck at the moment. With only a T-Shirt on the wind softly sweeps over my bare flesh and leaves small bumps behind. All of the warmth has been sucked into the center of my core and I am extrememly aware of everything. The sound of me typing is almost as calming as the sound of the wind chimes that are made of bamboo. They lightly bump up against one another and make the faintest hollow sound. This is what I want to be surrounding me at all times. I'm so content, being alone here. Where only my opinion matters, I don't need to prove anything to anyone other than the pollen that lightly falls around me. How easily it can be ruined by a sibling or the phone. I'm not saying that electronics are bad things for that would be extremely hypocritical. I just like being in control of this very moment, I like being able to hog all of its beauty and traquility.

Today was yet another odd day, mentally and emotionally. There's been a lot of imbalance in my routine. I've begun to realize that I'm a person, I do possess emotions. Isn't it so weird; the way the body reasssures you of this. Especially the way it does it; most of the time it's the effect of something extreme.

Cause and effect, that's all life is. If I do this, what is the consequence. It may be good, it may be bad, it also may be neither. I'd much prefer to effect things in the very least, That's why I love this solitude I am being surrounded in right now. I wonder if I could ever just sleep in the woods for a night. I'm terrified of the dark woods though, the thought of the unknown. Especially the dark unknown regions that stretch past my property line. What a foolish thing to be afraid of. I think that's going to be the theme for a couple of weeks; solitude. Or at least as much as I can get. This next month I will become an introvert (or attempt to).