Emotion Lasso

So, I need to stop liking people that give me the smallest bit of attention. I know I say it a lot but it sucks to be a gay highschool student. There are like what, two choices? I want to find someone that I connect with on a friend level and I want someone I'm attracted to. Hense the reason I have crushed on male friends. But the thing is, I value their friendship way more than relationship with them.

To any of my boy friends that I have crushed on, I apologize for the awkwardness, I don't really want anything more than a really close friendship with you and I always take it way too far. Well I think this has only happened twice. Once a way long time ago and once this year. The thing is, I just lack male friends and, being a male, I need that, so when I finally do get a male friend I WANT TO BE THEIR BEST FREIND. I often confuse this with a crush..

So therefore I apologize for making anything awkward and I shouldn't feel upset/mad at you for following your instinct and chasing females. My relationship with you has nothing to do with a relationship with a female. It took a really long time to realize this but I'm finally getting this. What I'm trying to say is that I value your friendship so much! (You know who you are)

Also, (I needed to get this out somewhere so blogging was all I had) I value my friendship with my best friend so much. She is like literally the world to me, and something she does with a boy shouldn't affect me either, even if it did hurt a bit. We all have human instincts and although I might not be okay with it, that's the role of a best friend.

I love my friends so much, I can't believe I let everything get to me so easily.

There I got everything out, I feel a lot better. I've been in the best kind of moods today, the forgiving kind, the accepting kind.

Bye.