Sally Sells Sea Shells By The Sea Shore

I've discovered that most of my thoughts orbit around my friends. Do you think it's bad to put so much trust and love into these people? Some of them are friends that I've had for a while and other's that I've had since this year...
I think it's alright, I mean if they do just get up and walk away one day maybe it'll be the slap in the face I need. I've been slapped in the face so many times, all of them being a joke. I wonder what it would feel like to hurt someone so badly that their first instinct would be to slap me in the face. I guess I would have deserved it.

I trust a lot of people, like a lot of people...
Well I guess not too many people, but enough. Let's put it into perspective, if everyone that I have ever confided in and trusted with anything were to tell everyone my secrets.. Well there would be a lot of secrets about me being spewed around. I don't want to come off like I care to much, I really don't think I would care if everyone knew my secrets. I think I would care if all my friends betrayed me like that. I'm going in circles, I'm sorry.

My feet are freezing, I want some slippers. That would be a useful way to spend money. I'm so bad at spending money. Well actually I'm so bad at saving money. That's something I'm going to do this summer if it kills me.

I don't understand some most of the underclassmen in Wachusett. They are all clones of one another and it really scares me. What are they going to be like when they need to actually make a decision or do something with the world and they don't have their parents to protect them. What will they do when they can't buy eye liner, or some new 100 dollar shoes? It's terrifying to think that these people will be our politicians, our teachers, our police force!! I think that I am over analyzing this, they're still kids and they still have time to mature, I just hope it happens fast.

It's such a beautiful day out today, I'll most likely spend it inside though. Remeber childhood? Remember when you would get up early on the weekends and put all your snow gear on and play in the snow until it got dark outside? You didn't need anyone to be with you, you didn't need any friends to come over because you had your imagination and the snow. And with those two things you could do just about anything.

When I was a little kid, I used to play with my sisters barbie dolls...
My parents were so unhappy about this. I don't know why. I mean I guess when I was born they though "Oh a son, someone who will watch football and play sports and play with other boys." They were dead wrong. Yeah they tried to make me a quinessential boy, I was forced into baseball for six years. My dad tells this story, when I was about six, he was watching some superbowl game, he went upstairs to see what I was doing and wanted to invite me down to watch but I was playing with those satanic barbie dolls. They made me ashamed of what I played with.

I'm not complaining, I'm just getting things out of my head, things that I've kept a secret. It makes sense when it's written. I wasn't doing anythign wrong. How could I be? I was a child...
I'm at the age now where I can make mistakes. I can get in trouble and I can do things that are wrong. I do things that are wrong. I get caught and I am repremanded. I was a really well behaved child.

This is another blog that makes me realize that I hate blogging. But I really do enjoy blogging, if anything it lets me keep up with myslef, and I can go back and read things that I have posted and laugh at myself. I guess that's what I never realized, I'm doing this for myself. I am a human being, the most selfish of creatures. I'm no different than anyone else because in reality, none of us are "special" like we were told as children. We're all just selfish teenage kids that want a goddamn break fom all the emotional and physical stress we undergo.

I guess I'm generalizing, some people believe they're special and who am I to put a damper on that. I'm not depressed, quite the contrary, I'm very happy at the moment. I guess my writing style just comes off complainy. (if that's a word)

I want something new to happen to me, I won't find it sitting here though.