Two Weeks

There are two weeks left here. Two weeks to sleep in the middle of the city, two weeks to wake up to my room-mates playing music, two weeks to have something interesting to do everyday. I really don't want to go back home. I miss my family I guess, I never thought that I would be the type to want to move on from home so badly.

It might be nice though, this will be my last year at the lake. I get to interview potential employees. I had a dream about working there, there was a lot going on though. I still have to pay this medical bill that has just been stressing me out to no end. I keep thinking that it is getting handled and they just keep sending me bills.
It makes me never want to go to the hospital again, it was such a dumb reason too! Whatever though I guess I still do need home. I need my parents to do things like that for me because if they don't I will just forget about them.

Next year I really want to work at Blick, during the beginning of the semester I would head down there everyday asking if they were hiring. It's too late to get a job now...

I still feel weird; empty almost. I hate it because I can usually talk myself out of feeling like this. It might be weird to see friends from high school this summer, for some of them I feel like there is a distance that I have tried but failed to control. I think my problem is that I want to figure out so many other peoples issues. don't get me wrong this does not make me a hero or nice guy in the least, it's just me trying to avoid mine. It reminds me of the idea that a landscapers lawn looks like shit or a house cleaners house is a mess. I'm by no means a mess, I feel pretty good most of the time.

I have to finish this final for my Visual Language 2 class, I'm writing a children's book with all of these alliterations. It's tedious but so satisfying to finally be doing something that I really want to do.

I want something to happen to me, nothing major I just need to be slapped back down to reality. I've been getting kind of self obsessed. It's weird to admit that, I have also been trying to avoid dealing with that. The thing is that I promised myself I would never become one of those boys that live in the city that lose touch with themselves. I don't think I am anywhere close to that but I need to keep in check with myself to keep that from happening.

I want to do so many paintings this summer, I took a painting class with this insane professor this year who just made me so glad that my high school painting teacher was able to teach me all that he did. I didn't get much out of that class.

I want to get some ice cream, I want to delete myself off the internet. My phone broke recently, I have no means of communication and it has been so wonderful. I don't miss checking it every five minutes or waiting for people to respond to my texts. I guess it's easier now because I live with all my friends. I plan on re entering the cellular world this weekend.

I really do not want to leave here, I'm looking out my window at my school. There's this beautiful white tree. I hope before I leave I can watch it change to green. The on thing that I do miss is the stars though, I really want to go for a sky walk.

Lately I have gotten really into Lana Del Rey, maybe I can blame my empty feelings on that.