The days are just wasting by, crumpled up and thrown into the garbage bin. The thing is that I don't think the paper is making it into the garbage bin, it's merely falling to the ground; completely unfulfilled. That's what my life has been like over the weekdays. I'm by no means upset or frustrated, I just need adventure. I need to get out of this one horse town and adventure. I want to move to the city sometimes, and just go wild. Hollywood makes drug use so sheik, so beautiful. After watching factory girl I just wanted to shoot up heroin. (Not really obviously).

I love Regina Spektor. Her voice is just so beautiful, so soul tingling.

I really just want to cry, to let all of these unsure emotions out with tears. I don't think I've really cried in like a year. It's not that I don't want to it's just I can't. It isn't very easy for me because I push my emotions deep into every crevice of my body. Sometimes I wish I was really emotional, but I guess that would make me a completely different person. Sorry about all of these weirdly depressing blogs.

I want to become part of the soil, just live underground for a while. I'm sick of this material world, I'm sick of being sucked into judgments and petty worries. All I want to worry about is how my roots will get watered, and I want to get away from all of this digital stuff that I am addicted to. As I say that though, I feel so cliché. WHATEVER! I don't fucking care how cliché I am! I don't care what anyone thinks, is thinking like everyone else a crime!?