The Ariboolies of Liberty Street

So, in my English class M. Worthy asked us to write a journal prompt. The question was basically "Who are you?". I thought this could be an interesting blog topic therefore I am going to tell all of my readers who I am. (this will not be my english paper)

My name, Brandon Sills. I guess that's a good start, a name really defines a person and I think of myself as a bubbly, generally happy person. I was born under the star sign of Aries if that means anything to you. Honestly, star signs are pretty interesting. I don't believe in them really, but I'd like to become familiar whith what each of them mean. I have a love for the arts if you didn't know. Most of the time I think of myself as a "good" artist and other times I want to rip up everything I have ever drawn or painted. Like every other person in the world, I am selfish. When I think of things, I usually think of how it will affect me. I'd like to think I'm liked, and that's the impression that I get from people.

I don't want to do this. I don't know myself well enough to do this.
I'll leave that there I guess. What I think of myself will change in another twenty minutes. Does everyone else change opinions about themselves? I'm sure they do.

As of yesterday, it's been a full four months since I've been a vegetarian.
Yay!!

I shoveled a lot of snow today. Although a strenuous task, It's almost rewarding...
Well that was a lie. What a weird thing to do, take something and then put the same exact thing in another place.

I don't know where I'm going with this. At the moment, I couldn't feel more disconnected from my family. You know that thing you do, when someone says something blatantly not funny and you fake laugh to keep them happy? Well I can't even do that to my stepmom anymore. When talking to her my face is a stone. My friend was talking to me today and brought up why we like our friends. I don't like people for the same things. There could be something I hate in someone that I love in another person. It really just depends on the person.

I don't like Forrest Gump, it's really overrated. It's not bad but it's definately not good.
In my film making class we're doing a black and white video and a short video. For my black and white video we're going to have a theme of the seven deadly sins.
I would be excited if i had complete control, I hate group work when I'm not leading. I feel like everyone's idea's but my own are wrong. I guess that's dumb, I should be more open to ideas. I just don't like being walked on.

The play goes up tomorrow, wow, I don't even feel like it's happening. I want to have a school hide and seek game with the drama department. that'd be fuckin rad.

As of today, I'm in a terrible mood.
I hope it goes away soon. I have really bad writers block but I want to blog.

My past couple of days were really good, filled with friends and laughs and rehearsal. But being alone all day and being able to think made me realize that I'm just in a slump

again..

You know that feeling that someone has ripped out your stomach and squeezed it dry? Well that's how I feel. I can't sum up the emotion, just the feeling.
This was a lame blog, sorry for being an angsty teenager, I just needed to write how I feel somewhere.

GOLDEN GIRLS!!

So tonight, I am going to the Golden Girls concert in Worcester and I am so excited. The thing about going to concerts that I don't like is the fact that some people dance way to hardcore. I may be one for ridiculous dancing, but I really don't want to get trampled! It's an actual worry..
I'm not aggressive AT ALL.

At the moment I am at Melina's house, she's showering and I am avoiding any awkward conversations that I might be forced into with her mom. Don't get me wrong, I love Mrs. Cary but I am an awkward person in general.
I'm really glad that I'm a funny person. If i was not funny, I don't know if anyone would wanna be friends with me!

I love Iron and Wine, they do this version of "Such Great Heights" and it is so beautiful. Recently music has been such a big part of my life. But I guess that's just a normal adolescent thing.
Lately I have started making new friends and acquaintances and it's so great!
I love meeting new people and I love when people take interest in me.
I'm a really open person, I will give anyone a try. Well that's not true, but most everyone.

I failed a science test today for sure, I'm pretty upset about it...
I really had to pee though and I couldn't focus and overall I just SUCK at chemistry.

Being so close to Valentines day, I can't help but not think about how I don't have a love interest. It'd be really awesome if someone were to just fall out of the sky into my lap but I don't think that's going to happen. You know, 1 in every 10 people are gay...
I just wish they would come out sooner than later. I don't care that much, but when this time of the year comes, I worry about things like that more than any other time.

I'm going to work on a portfolio if it kills me! Recently someone told me that I should go to art school. I've thought about it a lot and really, I think I'd have a lot of fun there.

I really miss my friend Kayt Kelly. She was the reason my summer was so much fun. This summer is going to be so stellah especially because I'll have my license. Her and I are going to hang like everyday!

I think I set my goals to low, and then sometimes I set them way to high. I need a happy medium. I'm getting closer and closer to it everyday. Wish me luck.

Feelin Good, Feelin Great

Growing up during the era that I did, I heard adults tell me that "I" was special. They told me that "I" would make something of myself.
I believed them.
We all did, didn't we? But really, the adults in our lives really believed it too. They thought that thier kids were different. They thought that thier kids were perfect.
I think we need to be knocked down a couple of pegs, don't you? To be perfectly honest, I'm just another 16 year old, self righteous... child. I'm completely okay with this.
Uh, well maybe not, I really liked believing that I mattered. I know that I do matter to a lot of people, but it's so small scale compared to what we were promised. maybe it was a joke.

Yesterday I was riding the bus and I was listening to Animal Collective. It made me realize that Animal Collective never gets old or ceases to impress me. I'm so glad I got into them.
They make the bus ride even more enjoyable.
I look foreward to the bus ride the night before, I love that feeling of moving. I don't NEED to talk to anyone, I can just sit there, listen to music, and daydream

I can't squeeze anything out of my mind at the moment...
I guess I'm done.
I feel excellent by the way.

This has been one of the best weekends of my life. I love surrounding myself with friends and just having fun more than anything in the world.
It really made me realize how great my friends are.
I really under appreciate my friends. They deserve so much more credit than they get. Constantly being there for me, all of our inside jokes, putting up with how annoying I can be sometimes. I really need to stop thinking about how many friends that I want and focus on all the great friends that I have.

When I was younger, I used to think that I was such a punk ass kid. I used to listen to Avril Lavigne and skate board and never wear my coat out to recess.
It was actually hilarious, I wonder what those poor teachers thought of me.

Pastel colors are my favorite colors.
Whenever I paint those are the only colors that I use. Most of the time it doesn't work out for me but I just love them so much. I think it's because I like soft things, I don't enjoy things or people that are too aggresive. Okay that's a lie, most of my friends are aggresive...

I've completely gotten over sexual frustration. I don't even care that much anymore, I'm really glad that I'm a virgin. Ohh what a weird thing to bring up.
Why is it embarrassing to be a virgin? Is it? I don't think it is. I don't think it's a bad thing not to be a virgin either. I'm just glad I'm not dying for relations.

My dreams have been extremely unsettling lately. I think it's because I've been changing lately. Not in a good or bad way, just changing. If i had to choose though, I'd say it's for the better. I'm so much more sociable, just talk to me! That's what I'm constantly thinking. I don't get that feeling like "I want to talk to someone but I don't really know them." I just love meeting people. Even if I end up hating them, (which would be extremely unlikely) I would like to give everyone a try.

You know when you see someone from school or work that you're hardly aquainted with outside of school or work and you just pretend you don't see them?
Or when it's you and one other person that you never talk to and that moment is not going to change anything?
Well I'm going to start being the person who waves first, or who talks first. I think in the end it'll make me a better judge of character, and over all, less afraid of confrentation.

I love goals. They make everything easier, I've got a couple recently. I don't know where to start though.

I'm workin on it?

So I had rehearsal today. I'm really glad I'm a Tiger. It's so much fun to act like. Although by the end my legs hurt from the floor, and my pants are basically grey with dust, I love it so much. My love scene with Melina is going to be som much fun. The only problem is that we need to keep from laughing.

I've had such a weird day, I haven't been in the sunlight for about two weeks...

It's weird, getting older. Closer to my license, Closer to college, Closer to, well I don't know. I drink Diet soda, I don't know why.
I'm kinda upset honestly, I don't know at what though? I guess it's weird to care recently. I used to bottle up all my emotions. I could literally disconnect myslef from a problem so easily. Lately, I've started getting offended, and putting my opinion out there. I DON'T want to be walked all over...
It's a healthier lifestyle though.

Everyday, I look forward to sleping. It's one of the best parts of my day. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm far from depressed, I just love sleeping. I never really realize how amazing it is.

I learned the word quaff today. It's the word of the day for me. Wow this is going no-where. I should stop blogging after reading. I want my mind to be clear.

Throughout the day I've become more and more angry about the general beleif about gay people. Men mostly.
For the information of the general public, homsexual men are not going to rape you just be cause you are another guy. They are not sex crazed horomonal, molesters that are dying to prey on all other men that are weaker than them. I don't know where the fuck this idea originated. God forbid I find someone of the same sex attractive, right? I mean GOD FORBID I have a CRUSH on someone of my same sex even though I have determined that I have a preference of guys.

Why is it okay for straight men to sit in a circle and talk about all the girls they want to fuck and how they think all these girls are hot and how they would do ungodly things to them. I have no freaking idea!

I'm just out of words, honestly (if you couldn't tell) I'm obviously angered. I really wish Wachusett was less ignorant, I know a lot of people that are very open. I guess I'll just surroun myself with them.